Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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