my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
