No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
