Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
