"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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