One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
