Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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