so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
