I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
bring money and cleavage
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
