Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
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Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
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just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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