is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
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All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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