the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
