Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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