R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
