her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
