so that wasnt chicken after all
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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