no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
