I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
