Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
