I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
