Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
