would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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