yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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