she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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