I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
