You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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