I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
