apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
