Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
