I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
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come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
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He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm like, not good at living.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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