he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
