BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think I sprained my soul last night
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
