There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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