We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
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Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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