i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
