So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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