I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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