I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
