I skipped work to stalk him.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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