he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
