I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
