if you like me you must not know who I am
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
