The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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