there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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