I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wannas sexs uuuuu
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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