is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
