i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
