i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He passed out mid-signature
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
