I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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