Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
