We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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