where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Green mimosas i think yes
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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