he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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