Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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