butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
