her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
