Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You can't just leave with hair like that
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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